This is a guest post for my “Getting Real” series. On this blog, we provide “pure human content,” and truly get real. I wanted to give other bloggers the opportunity to come on here and get real with me! I am so excited for the opportunity to invite other bloggers to join me and share their life experience and big feels. Interested in sending over a guest post and being part of the “Getting Real” series? Send me an email!
Now without further ado, let’s get real…
Hi. For two years now I’ve been Monty Vern. A very real person with an unreal name and a cute little pig logo. Today it’s time to get real. Let me introduce you to the man behind the pig…
Hi. My name is Scott and I’m a work-in-progress human. I created Monty at the beginning of the pandemic when I decided to start writing and sharing my life publicly. I felt I needed some “cover” to conceal my real identity and give me the freedom to write freely and openly. To not be concerned about divulging the ugly parts of me and hurting myself and family. Monty has given me this freedom, and I’m immeasurably grateful. In many ways, those of you that have gotten to know Monty over the past couple of years have come to learn more about me than many people in my ‘real’ life. But I’m learning from Monty. I’m learning to be more open and vulnerable. More honest to myself and to others about my imperfect humanity. So here I am, getting real with you today. I’m not giving up Monty. I love him. He’s cute and fun to draw. He provides some light-heartedness to the often difficult subjects I deal with. But for today, you can call me Scott.
I started writing and illustrating during the extended spring festival holiday in January 2020, just as the epidemic (later pandemic) set in and we went into quarantine in Shanghai, China. I had no specific plan at the time, but I had a lot of time on my hands and an itch to do something productive that was anything but work. Since then, I’ve independently published five books and started Monty’s Blahg (https://montysblahg.com). I guess you could say I found my creative muse (and, also, that I’m exceptional at avoiding the day job).
About a year prior to beginning my writing, I’d practiced expressive writing as part of a mental health/chronic pain treatment program. Although most of those expressive writing sessions resulted in torn up scraps, they planted a creative seed within me to explore my life-experiences through the written word. Making sense of my life through writing, and later drawing, has been a running theme throughout my work. Sometimes seriously. Sometimes with a much-needed sense of humor.
Along the way I have found my words…and my people.
My words are as varied as the experiences life has thrown at me. Always personal and emotionally honest. Mostly autobiographical, observational, and free of fake news. Periodically humorous, sometimes intentionally but often not.
My people are those that use human connection to inspire each other’s creativity. Our personal journeys intersect in the most curious and interesting ways. Let’s embrace each other’s differences and celebrate each shared moment.
Before I’m turned to ashy dust and charred bone chips,
There is but one thing left to do on my bucket list.
The far off trips and sexual tricks have long since faded,
Most of my youthful whims and lusts abated.
What’s left may seem impossible,
But the slightest hope that it’s achievable
Compels me to keep returning
To this world each morning.
What I seek is a moment of peace.
An unconditional release
From the guilt reminding me
That I’m not the man I meant to be.
For I’ve hurt in ways that can never be undone;
Permanently scaring my loved ones;
Betraying the trust they’d gifted me
Believing I was the man I let them see.
“You only live once” said the voice in my head;
“Carpe diem before your dead”
It wasn’t long before I was complying,
And trying to cover it up by lying.
I had no idea I was heading in this direction,
I’m at the verge of a full confession.
I’m shaking and scared of what I’ll write,
You will all hate me and you’ll be right.
I’ve written the words, but then deleted.
I don’t have the strength. I feel defeated.
Tonight there will be no peace for me,
I’ve failed again miserably.
There will be no peace, at least not immanently.
I’ll be back tomorrow with more poetic therapy.
For my hope continues to persist,
That I’ll complete my bucket list.
Monty Vern is a creator of written stuff – an aspiring writer, shameless illustrator, and a fallible editor.
Monty was born out of the brain of a work-in-progress human that discovered a passion for writing and illustrating during the pandemic of 2020. He has published a collection of illustrated poetry, “Thirteen Words” , illustrated shorts, “Monty’s Very Short Shorts”, and a quirky collection of short-stories, poetic prose, and cartoons, “Monty’s Almanac 202x”. Monty also regularly shares personal essays, poetry, and art on “Monty’s Blahg” (https://montysblahg.com).
Monty’s human grew up in Vermont, USA and currently lives and creates in Shanghai, China.