Happy Sunday, everyone!

Every Wednesday, blogging buddy Aaron over at The Confusing Middle posts a “Sunday Scribblings” prompt for other bloggers to ponder and respond to on the following Sunday. If you’re a blogger looking for more inspiration, I highly recommend jumping in and joining in on the fun!

This week’s prompt is: Tattoo!

“Wait, Renata, you don’t have any tattoos!?”

I’ve been asked this by several shocked friends and family members over the last few months. I have to say that I get it. Tattoos really do go with my aesthetic. I’ve always loved dyeing my hair different colors, I rock an undercut, and I currently have five ear piercings and one nose piercing. I have that alt, slightly badass look that says I don’t give a damn…even though I suffer from anxiety and actually give far too many damns. It definitely seems like I should have at least one tattoo, but alas…

I am a complete chicken.

I have always been afraid of needles. Whenever I get a needle, I have to mentally prepare myself beforehand. Several times, I’ve almost passed out. You would think that I don’t mind them considering how many piercings I have, but I had to sit with the idea of getting those piercings for weeks before I actually built up the courage to get them done. And even then, I needed to stay seated for a bit afterwards so I didn’t pass out.

When I was 14, my mom got her nose pierced, and she was convinced that I needed to get mine done as well because we have the same nose and it would look cute. At 14, I simply wasn’t ready to willfully subject myself to a needle. Three years later, a friend of mine turned 18 and wanted to get her nose pierced, so we called my mom to see where she could get it done in a pinch (heheh). Of course, once my mom heard we were going to the piercer, she immediately offered to meet us there and sign off on me getting a nose piercing as well, and I had to tell her several times that I still wasn’t ready. I waited until I was in college and had gotten several ear piercings before I was ready for my nose. And now, I’m still working up the nerve to get my forward helix pierced. It’s only been 7 years so far, though!

My mom is also far ahead of me on the tattoo front. My mom has 11 tattoos (they’re pretty awesome, too…several of them are fractals to celebrate her love of math). Her most recent tattoo is my cousin’s EKG from when my cousin had a stroke and needed open heart surgery. My grandmother even got that one with her. That’s right, my grandmother got her first tattoo at the age of 75. So at least I have time to work up the courage to be stabbed with several tiny needles puncturing ink into my skin! Maybe if I got one of those tiny flash tattoos like they do on Friday the 13th at some parlors, I would be okay. Although I’ve waited with a friend to get one of those done and those lines are worse than most Black Friday lines I’ve waited in. Plus, those are usually limited to only a few different concepts chosen by the artists, and I’m not sure if I could let someone else decide what goes on my body.

The other part of the issue is that I have no idea what I would get. I started drafting a tattoo idea a while ago, but I never got it to the point where it felt “right.” I’m not sure what defines me. Maybe I could get something related to writing or Buffalo sauce or escape rooms or my upcoming book? I would love to get something related to the song Vienna by Billy Joel, but I’m not sure exactly what it would look like. I’ve also considered the Cassiopeia constellation in or behind my ear for the Sara Bareilles song Cassiopeia or a nightingale for the Demi Lovato song Nightingale. I’ve had some tattoo ideas related to my grandparents who have passed as well, but even if I did land on an idea, I would still have to get up the nerve…and who knows how long that would take…

Photo by cottonbro